What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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