Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
