Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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