he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
