the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am midnight drunk by noon
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am one with the molecules
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
