So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
