So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
