cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
