ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize