I could make wine with my vomit
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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