I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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