16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My vagina just recognized that song.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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