they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Randomize
