carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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