Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
