i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
