great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
