Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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