5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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