okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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