i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
