Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
