If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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