Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
