I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
