dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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