Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
