I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
