What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize