I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize