I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize