Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
