I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
