I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
