So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
