im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
