he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
