all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
