fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
