thus making me awesome and them whores
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize