people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize