guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize