hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
