How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize