Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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