You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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