I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
