Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Randomize
