If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
