she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
