whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Quick, to the slutcave!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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