it wasn't lemon gatorade
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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