I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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