I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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