the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
