We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
