am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
