Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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