forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize