winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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