I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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